Life has a funny way of revealing your possibilities. In my undergrad studies, I've taken a variety of fine art courses, painting and drawing included. My grades for painting was a low pass, the lowest mark I've ever received in my university career. My art instructor was an outspoken feminist that carried a carefreeness which I envied. But I soon realized what it means when people say art is objective. She didn't like my work. Feeling a bit discouraged, I moved on and shifted my focus in acing other courses that "mattered" and could help me make money in the future (Business? Management? Who am I kidding).
Sometime later, I decided to continue painting. Not only did I make sure I was enrolled in the painting course with a friend, but I made sure I knew the instructor and his aesthetics as well. I was bound to do well (so I thought). In the end, I got an unimpressive mark. Reflecting on it now, I realized what went wrong. I was constantly looking for shortcuts so I can use the least amount of effort to reach maximum results. Never bothered for details when I can hand in assignments looking somewhat "done".
Trying hard and acting smart got me nowhere. I never continued painting after that, which also led me to the assumption that I would suck at drawing too. Everyone had to take a drawing class to fulfill credit requirements, so I put it off until the summer of my senior year. My thinking was, if it was going to suck, at least it would be over in a short span of 2 months. Surprisingly, I thrived and loved every moment of it. My biggest regret was not taking drawing earlier on. I walked in battered and doubtful but walked out with a great confidence boost thinking it's never too late.
False Frames | 9"x12" | oil on wood canvas
I feel like art for me will always be a journey to find long lost love. Sometimes people might not like or respect it, and in turn, you lose respect for yourself. Sometimes the problem are from within and you're not courageous enough to say "yeah I can do it". Many turns and events after, the fact remains, I'm back to what I've always denied myself to but secretly wanted. Nobody's keeping score this time, no instructors to please and no shortcuts to success. Life truly has a funny way of paving the way. I believe this is the exact feeling I'm trying to portray in this painting. Regardless how bright the outlook is ahead of us, we can't help it but to keep your guard up, tread carefully and not looking straight on.comments powered by Disqus