Full Tide, Blue Moon

Pictures I’m living through for now, trying to remember all the good times Our life was cutting through so loud, memories are playing in my dull mind I hate this part paper hearts, and I’ll hold a piece of yours Don’t think I would just forget about it. Hoping that you won’t forget about it

Tori Kelly’s Paper Hearts. Photograph from Land’s End, San Francisco.

This doodle came to me last week, and it says it all. There has been this gaping hole in my heart and a storm was brewing. Finally, the storm came and went. Surprisingly, I didn’t panic, and no regrets either. Instead, my heart’s filled with this calmness, the ones you get after the storm and the sun peaks out. I can finally emerge and look out what’s left of the world after all the social ideals and uncertainty have been washed away; I see happiness and self-respect.

I’ve always known that I should value happiness over money, but my own actions betray me. I knew what I was talented at, what I was born for, yet, I put a box over my own head because I thought everyone else would outshine me. The timing to start a new chapter and leave my comfortable 9-5 routine behind couldn’t have been more perfect. I wouldn’t have done it if it wasn’t for the fact that I’m in California, away from distraction and away from outer voices and opinions. I had time to myself to do some reflecting. And when I had the what-ifs, buts and can’ts, I had Aidan, my family and close friends as my support system to tell me otherwise. I also spent a lot of time washing dishes while listening to Jess’s LivelyShow and it has helped me gain perspective tremendously. Hearing how others searched high and low for their purpose and love of life ignited something in me. Hope? Motivation? The YOLO mentality? Whatever it was, I’m grateful for both the process and the outcome. I found new friends, new self-esteem and more importantly, a new angle on life. I couldn’t be more happy right now.

comments powered by Disqus

Twitter | Instagram | Copyright © 2014 Annzilla