It Isn't Easy Tho

itisn'teasySidewalk snapshot and my own handwriting that abviously needs a lot of work

I originally had so many words written, but later erased them all because I decided that was too much bitching. I think what I really wanted to say to my future and present self is: accept your vulnerabilities and accept that things aren't easy.

Let's face it, it's hard to always be kind and remember to put on a smile. Given the circumstances, you can't be the patient, considerate girlfriend or the generous, caring friend you'd like to be. Of course, you won't be the perfect trophy daughter simply overnight. Most of all, it's almost impossible to please others while making yourself happy.

So instead of asking myself why I haven't achieved the above and beating myself up for it, why not stop thinking that there's any "problem" to fix. My body, mind and soul's always evolving and growing. It may not look pretty now, and it may feel difficult to move on, but accept that being vulnerable is part of me, and who I am now. It's an important perspective that I need to come to terms with. Hell, it'll probably take me a lifetime to figure it out how to be a decent human being. So throw this idealized self out of the window because the world will constantly change and surprise you with unforseen events. It's not an excuse to stop trying, but a realization that no perfectionism can patch up the infinite vulnerabilities in our hearts.

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