Knots & Squares

A new beginning! The Annzilla blog has officially left the Wordpress sphere and into the new shiny shiny platform of Ghost. It is a very simple and straight forward CMS with double pane windows displaying markdown textbox on one end and having a realtime preview on the other. So far, I've been really enjoying it. It is built with one focus in mind - content. Forget about all the software bloat in Wordpress, all the fancy tools you don't ever end up using. You have all the basic tools here for your blogging needs. Of course, it will never replace Wordpress and offer the complexity and customization it can do, but since I'm keeping everything simple, I'm so glad I made the switch (with Aidan's help).

I want to live everyday with intention and purpose in mind. Get rid of clutter and things that will distract me. I think the same goes for this blog as well. I hope to write with sincerity and let this blog grow into something bigger and better!

1. Wool cushions from Toast to fall into when you feel like a cuddle
2. This bracelet from Alex&Ani symbolizes boundless wisdom and compassion, I need it as a constant reminder
3. Because, it's Bill Murray, drawing by Torey Erin
4. This walnut serving board would be good for any bread, cheese and Wine occassion
5. I'll always support homemade basket crafted from local Portugese artisans
6. Something about this mug from the 1940's design is very attractive

While on the topic of growing this blog with focus and intention, a constant challenge for me is to remember that people's intentions are good. They might not express it in a way that make you feel respected or cared, but you just have to remember (lie or pinch yourself if you have to) that their intention comes from a good place. I had a Gollum & Sméagol moment yesterday and it tored me apart. I understand the root of people's anxiety and fear, that it's a combination of their past experiences crossed with personal values and ideals. As much as I'm grateful to hear that people are thinking about me and offering me advice, it does not help, nor is it applicable if the message is not putting me in real consideration of the situation. It's like shooting your darts blind, it ends up selfish and hurtful. Sure, you got your message across, but to what point?

So what do you do when you feel like you've been misrepresented and resentments have started to grow? My first instinct was run away from it all and plot foolish plans of retribution. Then, I realized this could only be a temporary satisfaction. So I tried to think from a neutral stand point. Why do I feel this way? Am I not looking for what I wanted to hear as well? I wanted people's opinion to care for "me". Is it not equally selfish?

Indeed, this is not a case to win or lose. The moment you try to find any leverage over the other person, you're doing exactly what they've done to you. So let's look beyond that, what's my intensions here and what's theirs? Are they both based off of good thoughts but conveyed differently? Even if we can't agree on the methods or what's "right", the outcome doesn't change unless you let it, right? This quote really hit home for me:

"Practice being kind instead of being right."

My stomach was tied up in knots and squares. The stubbornness wouldn't budge and I failed to see the good intentions behind it all. I know I haven't been my most agreeable self and it kills me to think that I'll be spending my last couple of days here in San Francisco being upset. Nobody's making an enemy out of anyone. Silly isn't it, when it should be so simple.

Remember your/their intentions and focus on the good.

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