Today's going to be the day where my mind battles flight anxiety with travelling excitement. I'm just glad it's an early flight, meaning I'll be too sleepy to let imagination roam. To the land of maple syrup and grizzlies we go!

Now I can understand the satisfaction of rehabiliting a rescue dog. With a little bit of patience and work, the transformation is truly rewarding. Pup is going back home today, but work continues. This time with people that are creatively timid. I feel rejuvenated and extra pumped up now for tomorrow's Sip & Sketch workshop at the Impact hub. It will be fun times, I know it.

We're dogsitting a lovely rescued pup this weekend. She's all curled up since yesterday, feeling very timid since it's a new environment. This drawing is very much inspired by her sad looking eyes and big fluff ears.

Usually I avoid Chinatown at all costs because it's just too chaotic for me, and fiesty old people intimidates me. Recently though, I've started to venture in a little bit at a time. I realized that it's not that bad in small quantities. It's probably the best place to get fresh made dimsum for lunch under $5. Also, I've stopped relying on yelp reviews. Talking to store owners and locals there is the best way to get recommendations. A chance to brush up my Chinese after being away from home for a while.

After a 3 month break, it's time to try again. I spent 12 weeks on the artist way journey and discovered inhibitions and fears that I never knew existed. After a long and arduous conversation with my inner artist, I finally figured out what the heck was going on. It's almost like coming back to life after rehab. I'm just thankful to be where I am now. Onwards.

For a modern creative, your image and brand is everything. Show it or people won't know. I wish there was an easier way. A hundred unfinished, unpolished pieces sitting there collecting dust. I run my fingers through them once in a while and sometimes marvel at my own idea. "Damn, that was a good", I can distinctly remember how much I enjoyed the process, or even the music I was listening at the time. But soon after, disinterest will surface and I'll detach myself from feeling too much. I've never understood why that happens until recently. Art is like telling a secret, and when you're not ready to tell the story, you're not ready. We are our own worst enemy and critic. "Oh what would others think?", "this is too embarrassing", "but it's not perfect", "is it good enough to show?" and many thoughts later, I realized that self love and validation is the first and only step to healing. Sharing your art has to come from within. Not because everyone else is doing it, not because you think this will get you success because of more exposure, but because you're ready to tell the world a secret, a side of you that no one else knows.

I'm fighting my inner demons. My inner voice. Let it be assumptions, judgements or anxiety. It's a pain in the ass, but the fight is worth it. It keeps me alive and keeps me going.

I drew that with my left hand, because I felt like it. I'm learning to treasure the moment, be in tune with the present "now". For instance, I'll be doing chores, taking a stroll, doing a little shopping, then mid-way of those, a sudden burst of creativity or a brilliant idea waiting to be explored. Which then, I'll be running home to release that artist jini onto the pages before it fleets away like a shooting star. I'm learning to let the calling come to me. The hardest part is to wait for it patiently.

Dance, dance, dance.

This music reminds me of the sunset beach. I love it. It's the the best time of the day where rest lies ahead and your bed patiently awaits for your snuggle and embrace.

I just came back from a wonderful Sip & Sketch session at the YMCA. Small turnout, but big hearts and kind folks that truly care about the community and discovering creativity within. Genuine people connecting on a personal level is a rare thing these days. I find that when we're connecting through art making, the experience is all the more special. I say this because when you're expressing your art or craft, you're sharing a vulnerable side of you to the world. It is raw, illogical and absurd. But most of all, it is genuine and authentic. So to part take in that communal experience, we're already on a borderline friend zone level (like just almost there).

I also noticed that I've changed in subtle ways to be more open to people. My interaction with others now is more rooted on topics of life, passion and values. I've stopped leading my conversations with "What do you do?", because in all honesty, I don't really care. I'm learning to listen more intently for words both said and unsaid. I love chatting with Lyft/Uber drivers to learn more about the neighbourhoods they serve. I'm resisting the need to browse or surf online when I'm in the presence of another human being. Also, giving other people the benefit of the doubt because first impressions can be easy to judge. It's like what they say about everyone you meet is fighting a different battle or putting up a front for self defense, I'm still training myself to be more understanding of that. Be open, Dig deep and embrace all is kind of the mantra I'm going for these days.

I had a dream last night of a little girl, knife in both hands, running to attack me. Thankfully, I was able to hold her down and call for help. Then, an old teacher of mine told me firmly that I should quit being an artist. I even tried to reason with her. It's amazing how many doubts and insecurities exist in the bottom of your subconscious. We need to remind ourselves that those are just noise. We will be fine if we just take some time to let them fade.

Back on track. I had a week break due to some personal reasons I'd like to get to a bit later on. For now, I rejoice to new music and little art squares back into the routine.

It's been a week of email clean up. Hitting the "unsubscribe" button for those newsletters and promotional emails that are no longer necessary at this point in life. I regret not doing this earlier. The next clean up task would be my social media feed, which is a very daunting task. I dread. I admit to be totally guilty of those facebook clickbaits posts with no factual content or value. I admit that I enjoy controversial tweets and instagram pictures that encourage body shaming instead of body empowerment. It's embarrassing to think about how much time wasted on contents that do not enrich the mind or soul. It's gotta stop. It's true when they say you become what you consume and I've made up my mind to stop consuming garbage content starting now.

Free strokes today, nothing fancy, just letting the lines flow.